


Definitions of Innocence

by Zoadgo



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Prompt Fill, Virgin!Murphy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 20:03:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2785937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoadgo/pseuds/Zoadgo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr prompt; "I don’t know if you do this but I have an idea for a Murphy story that I have bit seen yet and was wondering if you could give it a shot. Murphy got locked to even he was young do I’m assuming he’s a virgin even he’s sent to the ground. I would like to see a nervous Murphy’s first time."</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>When the 100 were sent to the ground to fight for their lives in hope of proving the Earth survivable for adults, the Council conveniently forgot that they were kids. With everything that went down, most of the delinquents forgot that too. They were forced to grow up quickly, to stop being children moments after they’d been given a new lease on life. There were side effects to that, of course. Revelling in their new freedom, they turned to violence or sex to express themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Definitions of Innocence

When the 100 were sent to the ground to fight for their lives in hope of proving the Earth survivable for adults, the Council conveniently forgot that they were kids. With everything that went down, most of the delinquents forgot that too. They were forced to grow up quickly, to stop being children moments after they’d been given a new lease on life. There were side effects to that, of course. Revelling in their new freedom, they turned to violence or sex to express themselves.

Now, Murphy was different from the rest of them. Not in a special snowflake sort of way, but he was undeniably a breed apart. Most of the people in lockup had been there for two or three years at most. They’d grown up in society, or hadn’t yet grown to the stage where the cells would change them, morphing them into something unsuitable for polite company. Murphy didn’t have that privilege. He’d been imprisoned when he was young and pliable, and he’d been in that hellhole long enough for it to have made him into exactly what it wanted him to be.

That means that he turned to violence. In the Skybox, that was the only interaction he had with others. Getting the shit kicked out of him or, when his tormentors had been executed as all lower class criminals were, beating on the younger inmates. When they were given the freedom of the ground, Murphy didn’t know how to handle it. How can you reconcile running free in a forest when all you’ve known for the longest time is sleep schedules, meal rotations, and the same boring ass cell? Of course he’d lashed out, and then things just went downhill from there.

He was given a second chance by Bellamy and Clarke, which he’d fucked up royally. How was he supposed to know they would have actually forgiven him? Back into the woods, back into confinement that was almost like home. Except for all the torture. Then he got a third chance, gifted to him by the Ark officially, or Bellamy and Raven if you asked anyone who knew which group the power truly lied with. And he was not going to mess it up this time.

That means no non-ordered violence, though. And given Clarke’s extreme - and warranted, if he’s being honest - mistrust of him, he’s never going to be part of a hunting group, let alone the primitive army the delinquents have set up. Which leaves Murphy with a lot of time, and practically no one who’s willing to tolerate him. Except one person who really should hate his guts, yet seems to somewhat enjoy his company and the sarcasm that he can’t seem to shut off these days.

“Hey Murphy!” Raven saunters up, the slight skip in her gait familiar to Murphy by now. It used to cause him guilt, until he’d tried to apologize and Raven had quite soundly shut him down. She’d said they were all bound to get injured somehow, she was more pissed at him for almost blowing them all up than shooting her.

“What’s up, Ray?” He’d just gotten comfortable at his table, he really hoped she wasn’t going to drag him away to enthuse over some science thing that he couldn’t even begin to understand. Not that he doesn’t enjoy frustrating her with his complete lack of understanding, but he’d actually managed to claim warm food today, rather than the cold sludge at the bottom of the pot. He wants to enjoy this.

“Nothing much.” She shrugs and sits across from him, glancing at the annoyingly long line for dinner before smiling and reaching over to steal food from his plate. She pops it in her mouth with a wink as Murphy picks up his fork and points it at her.

“I’ve killed people for less, you know.” Anyone else would run away after that, but Raven just laughs.

“Yeah, but you’re a big softie when it comes to me.” Murphy shrugs and stabs his food, some vaguely root like vegetable that’s actually quite tasty.

“True.” 

Murphy’s not sure what it is about Raven, but he has no violent impulses towards her. Yeah, he’d shot her, but he’d thought she was Octavia. It was just bad luck that he’d hit her, anyway. He’d never really interacted with her before that, but since they’ve been stuck together in camp he’s realized that she’s in a special category of people. She’s not someone he wants to protect, and she’s not someone he wants to kill, or someone he wants to ignore. He definitely wants her to be part of his life, but he has no idea why or how.

“So.” Raven steals more of Murphy’s food and he smacks her hand away a moment too late. “How was labour crew?”

Murphy scoffs. “Delightful as always. I was lugging around metal rods today, and I wasn’t even allowed to punch the guy who dropped one on my foot.”

“Want me to punch him for you?”

“Tempting offer, but who would I have to pester me if you were in lockup?” He gestures at his half eaten plate which he’s only had a few bites of. “I barely even know what full rations is like any more.”

“I’m injured, I need more food in order to fuel my recovery or some shit.” She wrinkles her nose at him and Murphy raises an eyebrow.

“You’re as injured as I am, darling.” Murphy only uses pet names when Raven’s pretending to be more fragile than she is because he knows it annoys her to no end. “Scars don’t count.”

He leans in and bites the bit of vegetable that Raven’s holding between her fingers, grinning as she gapes at him in mock astonishment. 

“Well I never, how rude. Were you raised by Grounders?”

“As much as by anyone.” That comes disturbingly close to the truth, so Murphy quickly quips back. “What’s your excuse?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She steals another piece of food and scarfs it down with intentionally exaggerated ferocity. “I’m a delicate fucking flower.” 

Murphy snorts and shovels the last few bites into his mouth against Raven’s protests that he’s starving her. He glances up at the clock, one of the few things in camp that is guaranteed electricity 24/7.

“Well, curfew beckons.” Murphy pushes his plate away and moves to stand, but Raven swings her legs into his lap and pouts.

“Can’t you skip that yet? Evenings are so boring.” Murphy picks up her feet and stands, placing them in his seat. 

“I wish I could, but you know Clarke still doesn’t trust me. Not that I blame her.”

“Clarke needs to get that stick out of her ass.” Murphy’s surprised at Raven’s statement, considering how close her and Clarke are, and it must have shown because she elaborates. “I love the girl and all, but she’s not so good on the forgiving things when it doesn’t benefit her. I get that she’s our Queen and we need to respect her decisions, but sometimes they’re dumb. Like imposed curfews on all violators of Delinquent Law.”

Murphy agrees, but he can’t really say that without risk of it getting back to Clarke. To be fair, Delinquent Law isn’t that hard to follow. Don’t kill another outside of life or death situations, don’t sabotage them, don’t attempt to harm the King and Queen, as the delinquents so affectionately call Bellamy and Clarke. There’s nuances to it that were put in place by their leaders, but that’s the gist of it, and Murphy had broken every aspect of it. It still annoys him that he has to be in his quarters by a designated time, at which point one of the Army will check in on him. The kids really aren’t the most creative with names.

“You can sneak out later, though, right?” There’s an almost urgent air to Raven as she says that, and Murphy nods slightly, thoroughly confused. She’d never asked him to sneak away before. “Meet me behind engineering station, midnight, okay?”

Murphy just nods and leaves, jogging slightly as he rushes to get back to his quarters before inspection. He wishes the would do it a little later after evening rations, but he guesses they’re hoping that’s just an additional deterrent to breaking the rules. He glances at the clock again as he passes through the small gate that marks the entrance to Juvie, as the Arkers call the section of camp governed solely by Bellamy and Clarke. The adults have no sway there, where all of the remaining 100 and a few defectors reside.

He manages to slip through the door of his shack, built from scrap metal with the help of one incredibly sarcastic mechanic, just moments before a soldier raps on it with a baton.

“You saw me come in here, Harper, you know I’m here.”

“Just following protocol.”

She carries on her way, as frosty towards him as ever. All the guards are. They knock on a few more doors, waiting for responses before moving on to the next. Many of the shelters are unclaimed or only used on occasion, but the ones that have permanent residents are marked with a white circle, two if they’ve broken the law. Murphy hates those circles, forever telling the world of how he fucked up.

Passing the hours until midnight is the most boring thing Murphy’s ever done. He usually ends up sleeping fairly early simply for lack of something else to do. But he’s not going to risk letting Raven down by standing her up, so he occupies his time doing what amounts to a whole lot of nothing. He does some pushups, and then some more pushups. When his arms are trembling, he grabs one of his treasured books, something he’d traded a week of double shifts for, and struggles to make the letters cooperate and form the words that he knows are on the page. Reading had been so much easier back when his father had read with him, or the government-mandated teachers.

When he gets frustrated with that and very carefully restrains himself from throwing the book across the room, Murphy sharpens his knife. The rasp of stone on metal soothes him, calming nerves he hadn’t even realized had been acting up since Raven’s odd request. The familiar movements methodically lull him into a semi-trance, and he finds a lot of his thoughts end up being about Raven.

He’s worried, he decides. Worried that Raven is going to tell him something terrible, like she can’t risk being seen with him any more. He knows he’s not exactly among the favoured few, and it can’t be helping her status to be friends with him. But she’d been friendly with him during dinner, so that can’t be it. And if it was, would that really be so bad? Murphy should be used to people using him and abandoning him by now. But for some reason, the thought of losing Raven hurts more than it ought to.

When Murphy thinks enough time has passed, he peeks out of his door and up at the clock. He mentally congratulates himself as the numbers shine a bright “2347” to the sky. A quick glance at the street reveals it to be empty, as he knew it would be. A good thing about never having tried to break the rules before is that he actually learned the guard rotations pretty well. Harper would do all of her rounds, but she would do them exactly by the book, which meant no disturbing residents between 2200 and 0500. Murphy would be safe for several hours yet.

Slipping over to the less residential area is almost too easy. The guards never look back into the camp, all of their attention is focused on the forest. Even though they have a strong truce with the local tribe, there’s still danger that lurks in the trees. He can’t blame them for ignoring the peaceful camp at their backs, but it makes it far less exciting when the engineering lab looms out of the shadows and he slips behind it.

Raven is already there, muttering to herself and tapping her foot in a familiar rhythm. Murphy had asked about it ages ago, and she had said that pacing was too much effort for her, so she just taps the same beat with one foot. It makes sense, but he knows it’s a nervous habit of hers, and it sets him on edge.

Murphy clears his throat, and Raven whirls as if she’d forgotten that she was waiting on someone. She smiles when she sees him, though, and walks up to him. There’s a moment where the simply stand facing each other, and for the first time, Murphy feels that the silence between them is awkward.

“So, Ray, what was so important that I had to break the law to come out here?” Raven’s still fidgeting, and it makes Murphy more nervous. What was wrong?

“Listen, you know how I said evenings are boring?” Murphy nods, still utterly confused and slightly concerned. “They’re boring because you aren’t there.”

“Okay… There’s not much I can do about that, you know Clarke will never pardon me.” Raven gives him a look like he’s the densest brick of a human on the planet, and Murphy feels like he just might be. He honestly has no idea what’s going on here, or why she needed him to sneak out in the middle of the night to tell him that she’s bored without him. For a second, some long dormant part of Murphy sends an idea to him. Nothing concrete, but just the idea of spending time with someone the same way that Bellamy and Clarke spend time together, or Octavia and Lexa. 

He’d never entertained the idea of being with anyone like that, but Murphy guesses that if he would ever feel that way about anyone, it would be Raven. He likes her, he knows that much, and as he looks at her fidgeting with a loose piece of velcro on her knee brace, he can’t help but wonder if he likes her as more than a friend. Murphy’s never really had friends, maybe the whole wanting to be around the other person and accepting them no matter what thing isn’t just friendly?

“I know. That’s not what I’m trying to… Fuck it, I’m no good with words. I’m a mechanic, we work with our hands.”

And with that almost growled half-explanation, Raven closes the distance between them and does something that Murphy never would have expected even in his wildest dreams. She curls one hand halfway behind his neck, thumb laying along his jaw, and she kisses him.

Murphy’s response is to freeze. God, he wants to kiss her back, wants to respond in the way that she’s clearly expecting, but of course now his brain decides it’s a perfect time to kick into overdrive. He suddenly knows exactly what he wants to do, but his mind is informing him quite correctly that he’s never actually done any of that before. Telling him about all the ways that he could fuck this up, when he hadn’t even realized minutes before that _this_ was something he was afraid of messing up. So he does nothing.

“I’m.. ah, sorry, I just… thought...” Raven mumbles as she pulls away, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck and dropping her gaze to the ground.

_Shit, just do anything._

“I’m just gonna… go.” Raven turns away from him, and that is not at all what Murphy wants.

_You’ve killed people. Lots of people. Why the hell is this so hard?_ Mentally berating himself for being such an idiot, Murphy reaches out and grabs Raven’s wrist.

“Ray, wait.” She looks at him hesitantly, and he hates himself for making her look that unsure. “I’m… I just… I mean, I haven’t-” Murphy gestures helplessly, unable to form the words ‘I’m a virgin.’

“What, it’s been a while? Why would that matter?” Of course she wouldn’t assume the right thing. Thank god she doesn't get stuck being embarrassed for long when she has a puzzle to figure out. Even if Murphy would rather that puzzle wasn’t him, at least she’s not trying to leave anymore. Murphy lets go of her wrist and runs a hand through his already disheveled hair in frustration.

“You could say that.” Man, this would be so much easier if his mouth would just work properly and let him say the words.

“I mean, I assumed as much. You haven’t exactly been popular since everything went down, and before that you were imprisoned by the Grounders, before that I understand you were sort of a dick, and before that you were…” Raven trails off, the small crease that forms between her brows whenever she performs mental math making an appearance. Murphy’s now the one staring at the dirt as she fixes him with an uncomfortably direct gaze. “Murphy… How old were you when they locked you up?”

“Old enough to be sentenced to death, apparently.” He glances up and sees Raven’s ‘don’t bullshit me’ face and sighs. No getting around it, he supposes. “I was 13.”

“So, when you say you haven’t, you mean… you’ve never had sex?” Murphy shakes his head, determinedly staring at the ground. “Have you ever kissed someone?” Another shake of the head.

Silence stretches between them as any shred of joy in Murphy’s chest dies. He can feel his body shrinking beneath the weight of her impending rejection. Had it been anyone else, Murphy would have had a thousand angry retorts, a million reasons why it doesn’t matter and they should shut their fucking mouth. But he knows that he won’t say anything when she finally lets the axe fall. He could never yell at Raven, not in anger.

The quiet is broken by Raven, but not in the way he expects. It starts with a light huff of air from her, which grows into a chuckle, and then a full fledged laugh. She’s not rejecting him per se, but Murphy still feels like she’s stabbing him in the heart. She’s laughing at him? He might have expected this cruelty from the others, but not from her. 

“I can’t deal with this.” The whisper is so small that he doesn’t expect Raven to hear it, but she calms enough to speak up before he runs away into the ever inviting shadows.

“No, Murphy, wait!” Murphy’s still unable to look at her, but she grabs his chin in a firm grasp and forces him to. He sees nothing malicious about her, only genuine happiness. “I’m not laughing at you, I swear. It’s just… Is that why you froze up?”

Murphy nods, his face bright red. God, he’s never blushed before. He doesn’t like it. But Raven breaks into a broad smile at his nod and throws her arms around his shoulders, planting her lips on his again. And this time, Murphy tentatively responds, placing his hands on her shoulders lightly. Raven breaks the kiss and leans her forehead against his, still smiling.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Mur. It’s actually sort of cute.” The way her lips curl when she’s saying something specifically to rile someone up is familiar to Murphy, but it still works.

“I’m not cute.” He can still feel the flush in his cheeks as his grip tightens on her shoulders.

“Oh yeah?” Raven moves even closer, her body now pressed against his. “Then prove it.”

Murphy never does manage to make Raven change her mind about him being adorable, but he eventually accepts that maybe he’s okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> So! I got this prompt ages ago, but you guys have been giving me so many amazing prompts that I never got around to it. This isn't exactly what was requested, but I think it works! Thanks to my editor who I will never stop needing (promise), [coldsaturn!](http://coldsaturn.tumblr.com)
> 
> Come chat with me [on tumblr!](http://jonnmurphy.tumblr.com) As always, thanks in advance for commenting/viewing/leaving kudos <3


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